Writing & Querying My Second Manuscript
Part Three of How I Got Here
Soon after I started writing SMALL THINGS, I could already tell that my craft had improved. There were just certain things I had a feel for this time around, which could have only come from the experience of writing and editing FAMILIAR GROUND.
As I said in my last post, I also stayed consistent while writing this manuscript. I showed up almost every day and stuck to my schedule. If I didn’t hit my word count goal one day, I made up for it in the following days. However, if I hit my word count goal early, even if I felt like I could keep writing, I made myself close my laptop and step away. This was to try to ensure that I didn’t get burnt out. If I had an idea for a scene later that day while, for example, doing the dishes, then I wrote it down in my notes app for the next morning.
When I finished draft three in May, I decided to look into working with an editor, so I reached out to Lauren Kay through her website, laurenkaywrites.com. I’d found Lauren on Instagram, where she posts about the publishing industry and provides tips on what to do and what not to do while querying. I saw that she had a service through her website where she helped connect writers to editors and I decided to give it a shot. This felt better than trying to find a freelance editor myself. I had no idea how to vet an editor or what working with an editor should look like, so I figured having Lauren, a published author, there to guide the interaction would make things easier.
Lauren was so kind and helpful. She met with me over Zoom, then connected me with a developmental editor she thought would be a good fit for my story. I was also added to her editing slack channel. There, I was able to ask questions, get feedback, and chat with fellow writers who were going through the exact same things I was.
When I got the notes back from my editor, they were mostly positive:
“Your prose is confident and clear, your structure is sound, and your story is compelling: I had an overwhelming sense of being in good hands as I was reading.”
“The structure can be complex but it never gets away from you.”
“Your language has a calmness and clarity that also has a tactile warmth, rather than the cold detachment that is so often associated with those qualities. It is both precise and luxurious.”
There were changes that needed to be made, but I felt like I was on the right track. More than anything, my editor’s kind words motivated me. It was validating to hear that there was some merit to my writing after receiving nothing but rejections for my first project.
So, I worked hard to make all of the suggested changes, then combed through the manuscript a couple more times and decided I was ready to query.
This time, I planned to query in rounds, rather than all at once. This meant, I would send out a batch of queries, wait to get some responses, see how agents were reacting to it, and then, if I didn’t get any requests, I’d revisit the query and first ten pages.
Of the first twenty queries I sent out, nine rejected the query in the first three months, but I had yet to hear back from the rest. With a little over half still open, it was hard to gauge if the query needed work or not. I took another look at it, made some small changes, and sent out another twelve.
Of the second round, another nine rejected the query within the next three months, but I still hadn’t heard back from the remainder of the first round. In total, I’d heard from fourteen out of thirty-two agents in twenty-four weeks. With only fourteen responses, could I really say that there was something wrong with the query? Or did I just need to send it out to more agents? Most of the rejections had been fairly vague, similar to form rejections I’d gotten for FAMILIAR GROUND, which gave me almost nothing to work with.
I was getting nervous heading into my third round. Based on the positive feedback I’d heard from beta readers and my editor, I was hoping for at least one full manuscript request. I’d felt so confident before sending it out, that seeing the rejections roll in was a little heartbreaking.
I decided to do two things. I enrolled in a creative writing class at Portland Community College to try to improve my writing and in Lauren Kay’s Query Bootcamp to learn more about writing a good query. Lauren had also found agents to participate in a pitch event for the writers in the bootcamp, so I would finally get some feedback from agents about what might not be working with my query package.
During all of this, I was still mostly unemployed. I’d had part-time and contract work, but I wasn’t working full-time. This allowed me to dedicate a lot more time to writing and querying than I would have been able to otherwise.
By the end of the bootcamp, this was the query I sent out to agents:
Dear (Agent),
I’m currently seeking representation for my debut adult speculative novel, SMALL THINGS, complete at 67,000 words. In this contemporary, genre-bending reimagining of Grimm’s “The White Snake,” the bite of Ninth House meets some of the coziness and humor of The House in the Cerulean Sea and the angsty romance of A Study in Drowning.
Feryn Moore has spent the last few years since graduating college working at a bar in the city. Feeling dejected about her non-existent art historian career and looking to make more money, she accepts a job as a housekeeper in the dreary Sated Isle countryside. Feryn’s secretive—and surprisingly sexy—new boss, Sullivan Shroud, has one non-negotiable rule for her: mind her own business. Entranced with Sulli, Feryn does the opposite. By spying on him, she becomes wrapped up in his family’s drama, growing more obsessed with him by the day, as news reaches her of men disappearing in a nearby town.
When Sulli suddenly disappears, Feryn sifts through his treasured books, only to discover a world of magic hidden in old folktales. While investigating, she learns that the paranoid, behind-the-times townsfolk suspect her of being responsible for the recent disappearances, accusing her of being a witch. Desperate to clear her name before she is arrested for a crime she didn’t commit—or burned at the stake—Feryn digs deeper into Sulli’s research, hoping to find him before it’s too late.
With the help of a sarcastic cat named Anne Boleyn, two vengeful ravens, and an unlucky baker, Feryn will go to the Underworld and back to rescue her employer, confront her feelings, and carve out a space for herself in this new life.
My name is Kira Bruner, and I graduated from the University of North Texas with a Bachelor’s degree in communication design and a minor in art history. Since then, I’ve worked as a designer and art director, where I’ve helped establish narratives for brands in both an agency and in-house setting. Whether I’m drawing, painting, or writing, storytelling is always at the core of what I do, and it has been for most of my life. You can find more information about me and my background at kirabruner.com.
The full or partial manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Kira Bruner
What I struggled with most with this query was the genre-bending aspect of this story. I couldn’t quite figure out what comps to give it in order to get agents to understand what kind of story it was. I used The House in the Cerulean Sea to describe the kind of humor that comes in later in the story, around the time that Feryn teams up with the local baker in the Underworld to try to find Sulli. I used Ninth House to describe the grittier aspects of this story (and because Alex journeys to the underworld to save Darlington). And I used A Study in Drowning to describe the romance between these two characters, because similarly to Effy and Preston, Feryn and Sulli fall in love against the backdrop of an old house where folktales come to life.
Some readers (other writers and one agent) told me that it seemed like I was mis-genreing my book based on the query and/or first ten pages. Some said that it sounded more like horror or magical realism, or that the writing sounded too literary to be fantasy (before I switched to just calling it speculative). I’d tried my best to describe the book accurately but I realized I would never be able to control what others were going to take away from it. And everyone who read the query seemed to get something different out of it. Eventually, I just had to send it out and hope for the best.
I did receive a rejection from the same agent who gave me personalized feedback on my first manuscript. This time, their rejection looked a little different:
“I loved so much about this premise, from your sharp yet whimsical voice in the vein of Ava Reid, perfect for this type of novel, to Feryn dealing with those real feelings of being lost post-college, figuring out how to do your passion while living, when she finds this job ad. While I found amazing qualities within your work, I’m so sorry to say that I didn’t connect to the sample pages as much as I had hoped to champion this project.”
Although this was a rejection, “sharp yet whimsical voice in the vein of Ava Reid,” coming from the same agent who said my first manuscript relied too heavily on “telling” and exposition was a HUGE win.
As more rejections from my first, second, and third rounds came in, I received a handful of responses along the lines of: “While there is a lot I admire here and it does touch on a few points from my MSWL, I don’t think I will be the best champion for this novel.” And, “This premise is the exact type of story I’m looking for, but I’m afraid I didn’t quite resonate with the sample pages as much as I need to, so I need to step aside on this one.”
This was a sign that I was getting closer.
Five months into querying SMALL THINGS, I got my first full request ever. I cried so hard (from sheer relief) that my body was sore for days.
Seven months in, I got a full request from an agent who reps one of my favorite authors, saying, “I loved your pages!” I nearly had a heart attack when the email came through. This agent ended up passing on the full manuscript later, but this will remain one of the highlights of my querying journey.
As of today, eleven months into querying SMALL THINGS, I have received two full manuscript requests and one partial. Of the 73 agents I’ve queried (I don’t plan to query any more), this is a 4.2% request rate. I’ll share the final stats later and compare them side by side with FAMILIAR GROUND.
After finishing editing SMALL THINGS in July of 2024 and beginning to send it out to agents, I also started working on a middle grade speculative novel titled NORA AND THE NIGHTMARE KING. I’ve heard so many writers and agents say that once you start querying one book, you should start working on the next, and they’re right. Not only does working on a new project distract you from the rejections, but it feels good to know that once you finish querying, you’ll (ideally) have another project ready or almost ready to query (assuming you don’t find an agent in that time). If you do find an agent, you’re still probably going to need another book.
SMALL THINGS’ journey isn’t over yet. I still have a few queries out, including one of the full requests and the partial, but I plan to query NORA AND THE NIGHTMARE KING soon. I haven’t given up on SMALL THINGS, but I find it helps to plan for the future rather than wait on the present. And, after meeting with an agent through Manuscript Academy who said my query and first pages for NATNK are solid, I’m excited to send it out to agents.
SMALL THINGS has taught me a lot. I now meet with a writing group every week and have friends in this community. I’ve found podcasts like No Write Way with V.E. Schwab and The Manuscript Academy, which I listen to on repeat on my way to work, at the gym, and while doing chores. I had some “pinch me” moments, like one of my dream agents requesting the manuscript, and receiving such a wonderful comment from the same agent who gave me feedback on my first book, which made me feel like, even if I don’t get an agent with SMALL THINGS, at least I’m moving forward.
